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Quest for Happiness

I was cleaning up the computer the other day and came across this.  Michelle is not much of a writer and she is not sure when she even wrote it.   It comes from the heart and shows her motivation behind the change we are making.  Thought I would share it with you all.  I did not make any changes just putting this out there, so you can see her thoughts.  So proud of her! I also added another link under the resources link.  Check it out! - Blake

Quest for happiness: By Michelle 

As I sit here right now finding the right words to tell you about how this journey began is this. It has been as some people would call it a typical day. I got up, had some coffee, packed my husband his dinner and kissed my husband goodbye as he walked out the door for work. It’s been a long exhausting week for him working 12 hours a day. I go on about my day doing the typical chores after I get ready. Loads of laundry to do daily with a family of 5. As we have cut down on our clothing I might say we are not doing as much as before but we are still doing a lot. Before I would say we would be doing about 8 loads a day. Don’t ask how we were doing so much on a daily basis. All I knew was that I was just exhausted, but it had to be done. Onto the rest of the house the dishes, the sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, sorting through papers, scrubbing 3 toilets, 2 showers and the list goes on…then on top of that there is cleaning the garage and small yard work (since we live in a townhouse). I’m sure there are people out there who can relate to this madness. Then of course, you have kids’ activities, work and trying to squeeze in a movie night with the family after your completely exhausted after all that. Day in and day out – ugh! Not that I don’t love doing these things, but my time is more important than worrying about any type of cleaning. My family is more important than the stuff I have to clean, yet cleaning and running errands take up so much of my time and when I was working full-time there was no family time what so ever. Truth be told that I went through a really hard time in my life when I lost my mother 5 years ago to Colon Cancer. She was just a young 62 years old. Nothing was going to prepare me for the day I watched her take her last breath. Everything changed for me from that moment on. Now I know that people have lost loved ones in so many different ways, but my mom was my world. And I regret every day that goes by that I don’t get the chance to say I love you to her face or on the phone Now it’s just in my thoughts. I am still struggling. Slowly, my life took a turn for the worse. I started doing things that I soon would regret. Now that I look back on them, I knew it made me grow stronger and has led me to this point and to this new chapter of my life and my family’s life that we are to embark on. I remember looking back, asking my husband how we can get a bigger house and how can I get a new car. He said well you have to get a job and at least work there for 6 months. HA! I thought to myself well okay I can do that. I set out to find a job after raising my kids for 16 years. Except, I never thought about having a career for myself.  Everything I knew and loved before was gone after I had kids. I was too busy to do any of them nor did I have the money to pursue anything. So luckily, the Menards down the road from me hired me. I worked in the electrical department part-time (because I still had to take care of my kids) and started there. I think I was there a little over a year. We needed more money, the house I really wanted wasn’t going to come very fast if I didn’t step it up. My husband mentioned to me to apply at our State Capitol, it is where he started dispatching. I told him there is no way I would be good at doing security, I am too nice of a person and plus never in. my life did I ever have to wear a uniform. I applied anyway and 5 long months later I was hired as a security guard. Best job ever. There I worked along with the Mn State Troopers and I really loved what they stood for. I thought again to myself I want to do that. But I had a year left of school to finish because dummy me I quit college after my mom passed away. Why? Because that’s what I’m good at giving up. Anyways, I couldn’t give up I had to do something to show my kids that their mom is not a failure. A LONG LONG year later, I finally got my degree. Thanks to the support of my husband and kids I finished my 2-year degree. It’s not much but to me it’s everything. It means I never gave up!!! My marriage was still a little on the rocks during this whole time and I knew that in order for me and my husband to make it we needed a change. The house and car I was dreaming about was never going to happen. With even my husband and I both working full time jobs – there was still no end in sight. We will never make enough to afford that and be able to travel what is what I think my family loves to do most. We were always so happy when we were gone. So, thoughts slowly started to creep into my mind about well if I can’t afford a big house, maybe we can get a tiny mansion. I laughed to my husband as I told him my thoughts. We laughed it off. Our typical days would continue day after day, same thing, same boring routine. I think I was watching YouTube one night in bed and came across the tiny homes. I couldn’t believe my eyes how nice they were, not only how nice but how happy these people are that are living in them were! I brought it up to my husband again. I think I more told him to let’s live in a tiny house and move far away. He didn’t say no. So, I kept pushing the idea more and more each day until he was on board. I tried to get him to see that although he is super at his job, it’s not worth it for him to work his butt off and not be able to enjoy the money he makes or to have time off to do the things he wants to do. He agreed. 

It's just the more and more we thought about it the more and more we loved it. The financial freedom, the freedom to come and go when we please, was the lifestyle we want. It’s not about working and it’s not even about money anymore – this is about enjoying life, not killing ourselves to make this “typical” life work. This life isn’t for us. 

This is a universal question that everyone can ask themselves. Are you creating the life you want or are you just doing what you know is comfortable and safe? 

Time is short. I’m not going to waste anymore of my time trying to tell myself that everything is going to work out for me here because it never has, and it never will. That’s my reality. I had to accept that, so I could move on. And I couldn’t be more excited for this day to come that it is killing me that we have to wait until next year even. There is so much to do, I just worry that things will come up like they always do that prevents us from doing what we really want. This time we are not going to let anything get in the way of this. I know that sounds so selfish, but for me if we don’t go I am truly afraid of the rest of my life and what it will be like. 

If you are struggling to live your life the way you want I am here to tell you that there is always a way to change something. It may not go as we planned it to be and that’s okay. At least moving forward in the right direction is better than to play it safe. Keep pushing forward and you will get there I promise! If I can do this, so can you  Look at pictures or read something that will inspire you and keep you motivated. Your dream is out there so start living it.  Life is too short to wait for the right moment to come. 

I am inspired by many others that are doing a similar thing. I am in awe how they chose to leave their fears behind to embrace their own adventures and to live life of not with things but growing as a human being. 

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